Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Rain, Rain Go Away!!!

First off, I've been tagged by Kristen!!

6 Random things about me....

1. OREOS....i absolutely love oreos....but, if the rows in the package are not even I cannot eat them. So, you always have to eat them in increments of 3, no matter what!!!

2. I have a major shin phobia. I hate shins.

3. I am blessed beyond belief with an incredible husband, daughter, family and friends.

4. I own 36 pairs of flip flops

5. I hate the original 90210 but love the new series!!

6. I'm blank right now!!!

And now to a post, ever hear the saying when it rains it pours?? Well I heard my dad say that over and over this weekend. And oh how true it seems. This weekend, Saturday morning, my dad left for Mississippi to do some mission work with a neighboring church. It was kinda crazy how it all happened. Ashalyn was supposed to be dedicated at church on Sunday so dad was a little hesitant about going but decided to. Nicholas and I spent the day Saturday talking about both our dads and just old memories. And Saturday night mom calls and asks us to come over because for some reason didn't want to be alone. Before we went Nicholas decided to take a nap, which never happens, so I was afraid he might be getting sick. We went over there and within a few hours mom's phone rings..."who is this?" came acrossed the other end from dad's cell phone, it was a woman. So with a puzzled response, mom answers Kathy and gets quiet. That's when my heart sank!! I knew something was wrong. Mom sat there taking in everything she was hearing with a complete blank face. So, Nick and I sit there just waiting for her to get off the phone. She hangs up and in disbelief says, "they took your dad to the hospital by ambulance". So now, mom's crying and we have to decide what to do....he's on his way to Mississippi and we have no clue where he's at, just know he's been on the road for 12 hours. No idea what's going on, nothing!!! So I hug mom and get on the phone to call my sister. And mom in the meantime feels the need to start packing and head out on the road. So now Nicholas and I are left to decide, do we go ahead with Ashalyn's baby dedication, knowing friends and family have already traveled here for it, or do we cancel and head out with mom. I start dialing Pastor Brad's phone number and mom's phone rings yet again. This time it's the hospital calling from dad's phone. They were prepping dad for life flight. He had suffered a heart attack. So mom's giving his social, his history, all his medications, etc. And then as soon as they mention lifeflight mom drops her head to the counter and bawls. He's hundreds of miles away and they won't tell us anything. So, mom asks to talk to dad and they put the phone to his ear. It was the most horrible experience ever, watching mom cry into the phone talking to my dad, begging him to hang on, saying how much she loves him and just bawling. With no response back. And all the sudden the call drops! How awful to leave a conversation like that with 11 hours on the rode to make it to where he is. So we cancel, call the family and 14 of us head out. Still with no address of where he is being lifeflighted to just headed in the direction of Alabama, we knew he was somewhere in AL! At 10:00 at night we take off, everyone's exhausted from crying, only to find out that both grandpa and Nicholas took a nap that afternoon.......both a little out of the ordinary, but God knew what he was doing obviously!!! So we drove through the night taking turns with our drivers. Halfway there we get an address finally and a little bit of an update. Huntsville Hospital, in Huntsville Alabama! Wait a minute I thought, my best friend lives in Huntsville. 650 miles away and of all the cities it could have happened in it happens in Huntsville, AL. Nick and I were just there last summer, so we were a little familiar with the area. The hospital was only 3 miles away from the hotel we stayed at. And Brandi was there and able to tell us where there were places close by to eat, stay, etc! It was great seeing her again as well! We pull into the hospital and they tell us that Mom, Chad Becky and I are the only ones allowed in to see him. He was in ICU, so none of us really knew what to expect. We walk in and first thing, dad starts crying!! What a relief!! He then tells us what happened. They got to where they were going to be stopping for the night, another praise, they were not midpoint road side! And he started to get real hot and told everyone he was having hot flashes. So he went to the restroom and thats where it all started. After 10 minutes one of the guys he was with popped his head in the door and found dad mid stream heart attack. He had to have 3 stints put in with there being 90% blockage at two and 60 at the 3rd. There was a fouth one that was instintable and will require open heart surgery, so they let that one go for the time being so he could get home to his own dr. During the surgery dad suffered cardiac arrest where his heart stopped for a bit. Praise God, there is not much heart damage!! He healed so quickly and made it home late last night!! He has to meet with the cardiologist here to schedule the repair of the 4th valve, so we still are praying for that!!! God watched over the entire family all weekend!!!!! So many things worked in our favor, i believe the worst glinch we had was the fact that we could not get a rental car, but thanks to mom's uncle and a good friend of dad's they drove up there Monday night and drove dad home so he had more room to move, our vans were pretty full!!!
While mom was at the hospital with dad, she receives a phone call from her boss' wife, (her boss passed away 2 weeks ago) saying, "i know this is the worst possible time to tell u this, but we are shutting the office down for the time being." She hasn't received the death certificate yet so the computer system has froze. So....now mom is out of a job for the time being, on top of all this.
Then, just as I'm telling Nicholas, "wow, what a week!" the phone then rings again. Nick answers and I hear, "What? Grandma's in the hospital?" My grandma Nofziger is now in the hospital.
And just last week, Nick's grandma Rice went in and had a pacemaker put in. It seems never ending lately. Not too long ago Grandpa was going through the same thing as dad. And Justin and Clarissa, I blogged about earlier. Man, I'm ready for the rainstorm to end!!!!
Thank you to all that were praying!! God is working in many ways, but please please don't stop!! Dad still has quite the road ahead of him leading up to his next surgery!! And also pray for grandma as well!! Thanks again!!!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

ashalyn faith

i'd say it's time for a little update on Ashalyn. She is growing rather nicely. The dr was impressed at her 2 month visit (at 2 1/2 months). She has finally reached the 50 percentile in her weight at 10 ponds 13 ozs...she is getting so close to doubling her birth weight!! She has gone up in her height as well, and making it to the 25 %. And her head circumferance is in the 90 percentile!! As you can tell she is growing extremly fast. At first I was a little concerned, but the dr said that because of her low birth weight she will play catch up for a few months and then start slowing down.

As for her personality, she is getting to be sooo much fun! She is "coo"ing and smiling like crazy. She even has this little giggle that is to die for!! She is really trying hard to grab her toys...she bats at them, gets them swinging, and then can get them completely stopped enough to grab for a few seconds. We love just laying on the floor with her, as well as sitting back and just observing all her new little developments. She is so amazing!! She still enjoys her daytime naps, which makes night time a little hard, but we're getting there!!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

fall is my favorite time of year

So, I decided to make this an everything blog! I'm sure most of it will still be about Ashalyn but I always want to say other things and I try to remind myself that the blog was titled pregnancy journal. So here it is!!!!

What a week we've had! Thursday night Nicholas and I stayed awake just dreading the morning to come. I was supposed to leave for work at 730 am and Nick was going to keep Ashalyn for the morning before he had to leave for an out of town wedding he was in. We all dreaded it. Nick was excited that his best friend was getting married, but unexcited that Ashalyn and I were not going to make it there until 6 pm the next night. Yes, call us babies, but we have yet spent the night away from each other. The closest we have come was when Ashalyn was born and I slept in the hospital bed and he on the couch in the same room. One thing that I found neat when my grandfather passed away was that til the day he spent in the hospital he and my grandmother did not spend a night apart. I admired that in them and hope for the same with Nicholas and I! And his 10 hr work day is the longest he has left Ashalyn. So there were tears just talking about it.

Well, during the night, I decided to tell Nicholas when he got down there to find out the rate of a hotel room. That way Ashalyn and I could at least see him in the morning and he could come say goodnight before we went to bed. Come to find out, Matt (the groom) was able to get a group rate of $69.99. That is an awesome rate for a hotel room. So as soon as I left work, Ashalyn and I made the trip to see Dad!!! :-) It was the best decision we could have made. Now, the 2 1/2 hour trip with an infant by myself was a bit much. But well worth it!!!

We got there and Ashalyn and I chilled in the hotel for a little until we were able to go to the church to see dad (nicholas) for a while. Then we went back to the hotel while daddy and the other groomsmen played flag football. I met one of the groomsmen's wife and their 7 month old baby and we talked for a while and decided while the boys were playing football we were going to attempt the pool with our little ones. And believe it or not, Ashalyn loved it!! I thought she may be too little yet and not enjoy the colder water, i mean, it definately was not bath water!!

Then daddy came to say goodnight and found out that most the groomsmen were going there own way for the night, so he even got to stay with us!!!!! :-) Now, Ashalyn was up most the night, but we enjoyed our time together as a family. The wedding was such a nice, private service at the college church that they attend and the reception was near 2 hours away.

Nick drove the newly married couple, Matt and Jami Beck to the reception so Ashalyn and I had to make another 2 hour journey by ourselves. However, right as we were pulling out from the church I received a phone call from mom. She said that my 2 second cousins were in an ATV accident. Clarissa was killed and Justin was lifeflighted. WOW, what news to hear right before you are about to make a 2 hour drive, just you and your 2 month old. So I had to keep myself composed for the entire drive. Throughout the drive my thoughts ran crazy. Not too many weeks ago I talked to Justin's mom about how amazing being a mom was as she adored little Ashalyn....and then my mind runs back to just a few months ago, outside of the school building, I watch Justin and his friends goofing off, and he says, "oh it's okay, she's my cousin, she won't care!" And then I go back to Christmas and I remember Clarissa's big beautiful smile every year. And her and Kaitlyn hiding under the table, as if I can't see them, waiting for me to find them (yes, that was several years ago!). Clarissa was a 2nd cousin and we didn't see each other often, but I WILL NEVER forget her beautiful smile she ALWAYS had!!!! What a sweet young woman!!

While driving and going down memory line, I couldn't help but to lift the parents of these two up in prayer. Ashalyn has been with us for only 2 short months, but once you have a baby you look at life completely different. I could never imagine, getting news of her being gone, or even injured for that matter. I notice all the beautiful red, orange and yellow trees on this trip. Everything seems to be so much brighter, so much more beautiful, and just so much more meaningful with Ashalyn here. And then to be reminded, how fragile life is. How even the littlest things, like having fun on a four wheeler with your cousin that happened to be home from college for the day, can be life changing events. And it all makes you realize how great our God is. All I can think right at that point, was how beautiful God's creation is, the trees and blue sky, but even more so....LIFE!

I look in my mirror to see a person so full of life in the back, cooing, and smiling and am reminding how I need to cherish every moment with her. I wish so bad I could call Rod and Brenda up and have the words to say to them, but what, what could someone possibly say to comfort them in a time like this, knowing that because of a single foxhole that God placed with care, took the life of their daughter. It's hard to think of, but at the same time, you think, when God watched that fox find a place in His beautiful creation, to make that hole, He knew that that exact part of nature and of His doings was what would bring his beautiful child, Clarissa to Him. And now she is up there dancing and rejoicing with Him.

So then we attempt the reception. It was beautiful. Fall colors and a dance floor outside at Pretty Lake in Indiana. A cool fall night, where people joined together sharing memories and verses and marriage to dos. It was such a great reminder of commitment and what it means to remain together as husband and wife, as one!! As you can tell, the weekend brought so many mixed emotions and was rather eventful, but very much needed as a reminder to truly cherish life, our marriage, our little girl and to spend tiem in God's amazing creation!!!!!

Monday, October 13, 2008

7 hrs!

So, I don't want to jinx myself but we have had 2 nights in a row of 7 hours of sleep straight.....we just may be getting the hang of sleeping through the night!! Wahoo!!

Friday, October 10, 2008

to do or not to do???

Okay, so I need a little help!! I have truly been blessed by having a job that I can take Ashalyn with me to. I'm a nanny in Archbold for a very nice family that has allowed me to take Ashalyn to their house. Everyone is telling me that this is the perfect job. But I struggle with it sometimes, let me explain. My ideal job would be to create my house into an educational environment and take in a few children to teach, almost like a preschool and I could still have Ashalyn with me. In college I took several early childhood education classes focusing a lot on children ages before they even get to school. There I learned every aspect of teaching children at an early age and all about their developmental milestones early in life. This is the age that excites me. Call me a nerd but my favorite thing about working in the daycare I worked in, was the HUGE messes the 2 year olds made painting and the 12 months old made when teaching them to eat with a spoon on their own. and POTTY TRAINING!!! That was I think my biggest enjoyment. To see every child get excited when they used the "big kid" potty. And for me to show all my excitement when one of them came in in "big kid" underwear. I am just so ready to have that back. I love my job, and love the kids that I watch, and REALLY love taking Ashalyn with me and spending the day with her. So, where's the problem?? Any toys I want for her I have to haul back and forth every day, she doesn't have her bed there so she sleeeps in her car seat or on a blanket on the floor all day, and I still have to do my job of cleaning the house, laundry, etc, so their is not the stimulation for her that I'd like. So, do I give up the opportunity of taking her with me and find a sitter, (which my job pays wonderful for being able to take her with me, but to pay for a babysitter on top of it, i might as well not work, honestly!!) to where at the sitter she will have more toys, more interaction, a place to lay, etc. and me worry non stop all day about whether she is okay or being taken care of. Or do I continue my job here, bring her along, and feel like I am failing because I am not stimulating her with the things I feel are important?
Like I said, my ultimate goal, when we have a bigger place to start my own little educational daycare right in my home. I want a room where we can have huge pieces of paper on the floor and paint to the music, or an infant climbing mat, or have our building blocks to teach Ashalyn and the other children the concept of size, color, cause and effect, etc. a play gym for her to lay on so she can stare at the colors, listen to the music, etc.
I truly feel like here she is not being stimulated enough and that is why she sleeps constantly during the day. At night I read to her, play with her, sing to her, show her her toys, etc. and she just coos away, smiling at me non stop and such a happy little girl! She stays awake almost all evening then til bedtime!! Here, i feel like all we have is the swing, which puts her to sleep and the few toys that I am able to lug along! She holds her rattles now and a few of her connecting toys, that she needs more things here!!
So back to my question, do I continue bringing her and just get used to her schedule, sleeping all day til it's time to go home, or do i do the dreaded of leaving her with a sitter so we can get her on a schedule at home in the evenings?? I wouldn't change my evenings at all....i love the time I get to spend with her reading to her, playing with her "baby" toys, bathing her etc. But i feel like I'm not doing all I could be with her when my time like that is rushed!!!
IF ONLY I HAD A BIGGER PLACE!!!! Then it'd be perfect!!!! I could have be with her all day and introduce her to the things I'd like to at her young age and as well as other children!! And can still make an income doing it!!!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

jealously struggle

Okay, I must admit....I'm struggling with a bit of a jealousy issue! Nicholas and I are 5th adn 6th grade youth sponsors at our church and just last night our youth pastor came in and we were talking. He and his wife (also a pastor at our church) just had a baby about 5 weeks ago and he said that their son is sleeping through the night now. WHAT?????????????? Ashalyn is 7 months and still waking up around 1 and 4 to eat. So I asked him what his trick was.......he said "Baby Wise". It's a Christian book that he says he swears by!! So Nick and I are going to be checking it out and doing some reading. I can't imagine a full night's sleep anymore!!!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Ashalyn has a new baby cousin. We have some absolutely adorable pictures of them. It is so fun having 2 babies now....almost makes me want to have another one right now. It makes me realize how fast my baby is growing and makes me realize that she's not going to be little for very long. Ashalyn was always the little one, but now holding Kelby shows that she isn't all that little anymore!! She's growing up so fast!! IT'S ACTUALLY KINDA SCARY!!!

Monday, October 6, 2008


oh bummer, pictures are too big and not sure how to shrink them!! Go to our myspace page to see them......any buckeye fan will appreciate them!!!!



Thursday, October 2, 2008

loving life!!!

My baby is getting so big. We took her to the dr. for another checkup and at 5 1/2 weeks she is weighing 8 lbs 5 oz. The nurse was so impressed with her weight gain. She definately is an eater!!!! Everyone that stops us to coo over our precious one mentions how tiny she is, but she looks so big to us. It's amazing how much she has changed just in 6 weeks!!! She is so much fun! Ashalyn really is starting to focus and reach for things. Just a few stories....

just yesterday daddy called to talk to mommy on his lunch break. I was feeding Ashalyn so i put the phone up to her ear and Nicholas talked to her. She got all excited, her eyes got huge, got a huge smile, and started to flap outta my arms!!! She really started cooing!! She is definately gonna be a daddy's girl!!

now, not sure if this is cute, or gonna be trouble.....but the three of us were laying in bed reading a story, the phone rang so Nick went to answer it, he walked away and Ashalyn started crying, he came back and she stopped. Later I got up and she fussed. Soon as I came back she smiled again!! Some may say she's spoiled but I just love how she enjoys our family time!!! :-)

and a not so neat story! Archbold has a new nice eatery that we checked out the other night. Through most of our meal Ashalyn slept, but right towards the end she started fussing so I got her out and held her while I finished up. As soon as I pulled her out this table of women a few tables down smiled and talked about how precious she was. After about 2 minutes or so, one got up, came over and tried taking her outta my arms, saying "i can hold her, you eat!!" Wow, i tightened my grip and said, "oh I'm fine, I'm finished eating!" and I pushed my plate back!! I had no idea who she was and I'm sure it was just a nice gesture, but I couldn't hand over my baby to her. Maybe I'm a bit paranoid but I just can't do it!!! I was just blown away by it....almost disturbed by her effort!! I'm sure she meant well...but.....come'on, did she seriously think I'd be okay with that???

And finally, these have nothing to do with Ashalyn, but something I am really looking forward to that I just have to share!!

In exactly one week, I will be writing a check for $148 to finally pay off my car!!!! That frees up an extra $230 a month and will definately help us get my school paid off much faster!! Just this week we ordered the Crown Financial Money Map software from Crown Ministries. I am really excited to get this program started and get all our bills together and get our family budget planned!!!!

Nicholas and I are in our 3rd week of GB56 (the 5th and 6th grade youth program at church!) We have such a great group of kids and we both are loving being sponsors!! They have already blessed our lives tremendously!! We were just talking about how awesome it has been finally feeling "a part" of a church that we love. We have both gotten really involved and are loving it!! Starting in November I am also joining an outreach ministry scrapbooking group...so that will be lots of fun socializing with a group of Christian women sharing in one of my favorite hobbies!! I am also Bible School superientendant, so starting in January Jenni and I will be getting together planning all that!! It is so fun being involved!!!!!

The end of October Nick is starting reffing school. We will be sad to see him leave us on Tuesday nights, but excited that he is getting to finally do something he always wanted to do!! And we CANNOT wait to start going to his games!!!!!

And I think that's all....a very random post, but trying to catch everyone up with the happenings of our life!!!! My how things have changed for us over the past 2 years!!! I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Ashalyn pictures

Hey guys!!
If you want to see pictures of my precious baby go to www.lreneestudio.blogspot.com to check them out!! Ashalyn was very UNCOOPERATIVE for pictures but the hour before and the hour after happy as can be!! I don't think she cares too much for the camera. But then again, I wouldnt either if I had as many flashes snapped at me as she did in the hospital. After I came out of the recovery room, mind you, no one even held her before this, she was just getting cleaned up, her vitals, etc. She had over 100 pictures just on one of the grandparents cameras. And ALL 4 were there, all her aunt and uncles and a few friends as well!!! So the first hour of her life was nothing but flash after flash, so do u really blame her for not wanting her picture taken???? Anyways, check them out!! We did get some cute ones!!!!! I love my baby!!!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

one proud mama!

Ashalyn is over 4 weeks old already!! I cannot believe it!! She is getting so big. She had a 4 week check up and she weighed 7 lbs 8 oz. so she is gaining rather rapidly. We are so proud. She is an eater!! It seems that that is all we do! Being a mom has got to be the best thing in the world. I don't think I ever really understood how much my parents loved me until the moment I held Ashalyn for the first time. It is undescribable! You would do ANYTHING for them and it is so unconditional. ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!! The worst part of it is hearing her cry and knowing you can't pick her up everytime! We started that the first few weeks and learned very quickly that she was slowly beginning to wrap us around her finger and it became a routine.......cry, they pick me up!!! She got to the point for a minute that we couldn't put her down for anything....we were taking shifts at night to hold her just to calm her down!!! As soon as she was on our chest she was out like a light!! But she is getting so much better....i think it helps that she can now make out objects. She really stares now!! Watching her look into your eyes is also incredible!! And her smile is to die for....melts mommy and daddy's heart everytime! We are working on tummy time....she still isn't real fond of that, but getting much better and her neck is getting very strong!! I am one proud mommy!! I'll argue with anyone.....MY DAUGHTER IS THE BEST!!!!!

Monday, September 8, 2008

She has arrived!!!

It's been awhile!! And I reread the last post and it's kinda crazy I posted that. I think I knew that morning that it was time. I took an extra pair of pants to work with me, i just had that feeling that my water could break at work any time. And then all day i was just itching to have her and had this unexplained energy. I was very uncomfortable. And sure enough, 20 minutes after I got home from work what I thought was the horrible, uncontrolable bladder of a pregnant woman came and never went away. Slowly my water started leaking. And within 5 minutes of being at the hospital it bursted everywhere. We went in because we were unsure, but prior we went to walmart so Nicholas could get some things he needed. I stayed in the car because there was NO CONTROLLING my "bladder" (that's what i thought it was.) Then we went to the hospital and as soon as they got me in a delivery room to be checked my water immediately began to flow very heavy....so at this point there was no going home. I started on pitocin immediately because I was not having any contractions on my own and I had 24 hours to work with from the time my water broke. I wanted to do it all natural, no epideral, no pain meds, nothing. After about 17 hours of contractions and no sleep I decided to do nubane. That helped a lot and relaxed me a little. Then at 24 hours they checked for infections because my water was now broke for the 24 hour period. Baby Ashalyn was still sunny side up as they say and was not able to make her way into the birthing canal. So at 28 hours I was given the option of an epideral to try and help get her in the correct position and to start making her way through...and if nothing in 4 hours I would go c-section or I could just skip the epideral and go c-section right away. about an hour prior to this choice they gave me, we lost the baby's heartbeat and I was put on oxygen for the remainder of the labor. Now, let me tell u, when u are in the middle of contractions the last thing you want is to worry about your baby and this stupid mask right in your face 24/7. Not just the mask was annoying but the tank of air was also a pain and just in the way. So....a little frieghtened for my baby's sake....we chose to do c-section right away. The staff seemed pretty sure that it would be csection either way so it was just a matter of deciding whether we watned an august 20th bday or a 21st bday. We both were concerned about our baby's health and the stress on her, so we chose to go now. From the time they told me to the time I was cut open and Ashalyn was delivered it was less than an hour. The on call surgery team was called in and we got the "party started". I was awake during the surgery and it was actually one of the most amazing things in the world. They had a blanket up so I could avoid seeing, but there was a mirror there if I wanted to watch. I watched for a little after she was pulled out and they were stitching me up. Before that I kept my eyes on Nicholas and just anxiously awaited a cry. I felt them tug the incision open (didnt hurt tho...i was numb) and i felt the pressure lifted when they pulled her out. "you have a beautiful baby girl." "She's at least 2 1/2 weeks early." "she looks like dad" "5lbs 12 oz." all these things were great to hear but her cry was the most beauiful noise ever!!! Hearing her and knowing she was here and would be in my arms in a matter of minutes was truely amazing. Now I had an hour in recovery before I could hold her. During the operation my arms were strapped down to the table, but nicholas was able to bring her to me so I could see her, he just had to hold her. So while I was in recovery (sleeping of course) they did her vitals, warmed her, bathed her etc. while our families looked in. nicholas was able to be with her at all times but he wouldnt allow anyone to hold her until I got to first. I am so thankful for that!! I cannot even express how blessed we are and how great of a feeling it is to be "mommy!" But for now I must get back to motherly duties and feed my precious little one!!! more to come later.

Ashalyn Faith Rice
5 lbs 12 oz
19 inches long

Until I can post more, please keep little Ashalyn in your prayers! Ashalyn was born at 36 weeks gestation, meaning she was 4 weeks early. (yup, none of our due dates given to us were correct.) Praise God she was healthy and did not need the extra care that some preemies need. Before we left the hospital her bellirubben count was high but not to the point that she needed under the light, just to come back for another checkup in 2 days. This past week she fought an upper respitory infection from her low birth weight and the changing weather. We left the hospital at 5 lbs 5 oz but at her 2 week checkup she was up to 6lbs 5 oz. She gained a whole pound and we are so proud of her. However, from her URI she has not been eating very well so we continue to pray for the nourishment she needs and continuing healing of her small body. We pray that he lungs continue to develop and we can avoid any further respitory problems.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

part 2

This is kindof in continuation to the last post on being patient. I have to ask myself every day "how?" Lord, how can I be patient? Work is stressing me out. For the last 2 months I have been walking almost 2 miles every day just trying to relax and let out some of this energy. I'm irritable. The little things get to me. I feel huge and unattractive. At the end of the day, when I'm laying in bed and Nicholas and I get ready to begin our prayers together, I look at him and say, "well, another day has come and gone and still no progress." And I begin to hope and pray, maybe during the night. Then after many hours of laying and watching the clock change, tossing and turning, I'm reminded by an obnoxious beep, that I must begin yet another day, another day of work, and another long day just anxiously wondering if today we will have any further progression of contractions or if we are only yet another minute closer to our baby girl. That's what it seems, minutes seem to be hours and the days seem to be weeks. Now I know every pregnant woman goes through this at this point... but why am I so bothered by the fact that she is still not here? Is it because all my life, as long as I remember, awaited this day. Children have always been so precious to me and since I've been on the woman's path of hormones, I have anxiously wanted and thrived to be a mother. Over and over I thought of things I want to do with my family, places I want to go, relive some of my childhood memories through my children. Horrible thoughts at night envade my dreams, with several reoccuring ones, that have scared me to no end. Is that why I am ready to hold her in my arms, so I can say they were only dreams. Labor and delivery is now starting to scare me. Part because of the dreams and part because its all I can think about, week after week, day after day, and now minute after minute. I'm having lots of patches of consistant contractions, 8 minutes apart, but after an hour or so of it they fade. I change activities or sit to relax and they deminish. So, as I've been told I'm having false labor. It's been going on for days now. Saturday night I thought for sure we would be holding our little girl in a matter of hours.....and then it all vanishes. And I have to start the process all over again. Or was it because of the horrible "unsure" due date? All along I was looking at September but every time I went in to the dr. I was reminded that August 14th was a good possibility still? So after being told over and over I began to put that date in my head and as it neared I got more and more excited. Now it is past and it makes September 3 seem sooooo far away. August 19th and I still do not know my due date, still uncomfortable, still fearing the process, and still not sure what will/is going to happen. Not knowing how my previously injured tailbone and lumbar will hold or if it will allow me to do it natural. Still so many unanswered questions....and I wonder if that's why my anxiety is so intense. So Lord, please tell me!! Or teach me for that matter, how???
As to many, I probably seem to be a baby. I have some intense pelvic pressure that I have had for near a month now. I have some back pain that causes my back to lock, sometimes sending me back to bed or tumbling into Nicholas' arms (all from a previous injury). But the dr is still insisting natural childbirth would be best. And honestly that does scare me. I would love to say I did it all natural and would love to be able to but the what ifs and how tos lead me to lots of question and all my anxiety. I feel great though, minus some of the aches and pain, stress and worry, physically I am full of energy and constantly on the go. I am finding ways to keep myself busy but cannot seem to bipass the thing that preoccupies me my mind the most!! So it's just mentally I AM A WRECK!!!!!
As you can tell I am drawn in 45.5 directions with all this and probably have many confused. Heck, I have myself confused!! But I've just past 18 minutes and one contraction later!!! Now if only knew that contraction did something and helped me to progress in any way!!!
But all this rambling being said, I still pray for my baby, for a healthy baby, and for whatever day to come, so we can celebrate her birth, her life, and celebrate the changing of our lives forever!!!! WE ARE SOOOOO EXCITED!!!!

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Love is Patient.....that's the test??!!

Every morning I wake up, go to the bathroom (its a pregnant thing), rubbed my belly and talk to little Ashalyn. Then I wonder to myself....is today the day?? Then I take the time to ask God to be with us and protect us throughout the day, to prepare me just in case, and teach me patience!! Yes, I am used to working with a classroom full of children and siblings that work each others nerves all day long....that does not phase me....but being patient in these circumstances....anxiously awaiting one of the most beautiful things ever, not knowing the exact moment your life will be forever changed, knowing you are about to receive the most incredible blessing ever...that is a true test of patience!! And sadly, I think I may be failing this test. I am so incredibly anxious that the thoughts of my baby girl is starting to consume my every thought. I wonder what she will look like, what the birth will feel like, will she have daddy and grandpa rice's crooked pinky, will she start out blonde like her daddy did, or will she sleep through her entire first night like her cousin Brett did, is she going to be healthy, will she recognize Nicholas' voice (he talks to her all the time), will I be able comfort her little cry? etc. It is nonstop filmage (is that a word) playing over and over in my mind. But each day I wonder....when will we be celebrating her birthday? Patience just is not my virtue these days! I try to keep my life busy by adding whatever to my agenda just to keep me going. I've cut off about 180 ears of corn to freeze for the winter. Last night I got my apples for applesauce, so that will consume tonight. Friday night Stephanie is coming into town. Saturday is Cayman's benefit. Monday Matt and Jami will be in town. But from then....what will I do with my time? Crystal is taking next week off of work so I don't have to work all week. I'll be cleaning and getting everything ready for her arrival. But the craziness from the previous few months is coming to an end. My first due date is a week from today. I am having some contractions and lower back pain....but I'm anticipating the September 3rd date....I think just to keep myself sane if she doesnt arrive by next Wednesday. Dr visits are every week now, but only an hour out of the day. My shower can only be bleeched so often and we only go through so many clothes that laundry can't be redone. I'm to the point where I am rewashing her clothes just so they have that fresh laundry smell and softness. I am literally driving myself crazy trying to come up with things to do. Taking walks and praying! What more can I do? How much longer will I be doing this? And then will I be able to transition from all this busy work to just sitting on the couch cuddling my little girl? That's the time I will take to relax. When I went to grandma's to pick up the apples, she asked me if I was sure I was feeling up to it. I stopped to see the kids before they left for Florida and my brother-in-law says, "dont you know your pregnant? You are F*#*ing crazy." because I want to take them to the zoo when they get home. But honestly, until the day comes when my baby is born I WANT to be busy!! I feel better when I am going, going, going!! When she comes I will take the time to cuddle her, go for walks with her, nap with her, bathe her, read to her. She will be my life then!!! But until then...I think it is safe to say...my patience that I once had...it's out the window, completely gone!! I've failed this test! And will continue to be an antzy, busy body until the day...I can wake up and say....TODAY IS IT. TODAY IS THE DAY. My life will change forever TODAY!!! And TODAY will be my baby's birth day!!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

happy 30th!!

First off, I'd like to say HAPPY 30TH ANNIVERSARY MOM and DAD!!!!

Now, my pregnancy.....it seems like things have haulted a little bit. Yesterday I had some very unexplained vomiting again that was just as bad as the beginning of pregnancy. I kinda forgot how much one could release at one time!! Okay, so u're probably thinking TMI. Sorry. Since I've been drinking more water the contractions have not been as bad and now feel just more crampy. So, yes, I do believe that I was near dehydration yet again. I just cannot drink my fluids as I should. By the end of the day my feet are exhausted and I need to sit and take a break for a bit. Last night was kinda rough. Got home and after making supper we went straight to our patch of corn and helped husk. We got 9 bushel last night (a bushel containing 60 years) and then went home and cleaned and cooked, cut off the cob and froze for the winter. It was quite fun actually. So, how old does that make me sound? (the 9 bushel was split between my mom my sister and i) So I was standing the entire time at the stove. Then it was dishes, cleaned my bathroom, and folded my laundry. So I was beat!! This morning I've had a few contractions. I almost just wish the contractions would either go away or be here full force. Then it'd give us a little better idea as to when our baby is coming!! Since we have 2 due dates, one only being 9 days away and the other being 28 days away we have no idea when to expect her. AND I HATE NOT KNOWING!!!!!!! She has been kicking lots tho!! I havent really felt her turn or flip or anything just kicks!! Which at my last visit the dr said she was in position....so that could explain it!!! Goodness, I'm just soooooo ready!!! :-)

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

now the wait

Now it is just waiting! We are officially done with lamaze and partners in pregnancy. All that has me a little nervous because they showed an actual csection and then they talked about all the bleeding that occurs, all the possibilities that could happen etc. But I think I'm more anxious that it outweighs my nervousness. Really we do not have a ton planned for the month of August so it feels like September is forever away. We are trying to keep busy and have a few things going on, such as mom and dad's 30th wedding anniversary party, Cayman's benefit, a friend coming into town, I'm making applesauce this week and doing up corn next week. But other than that, that's it. I start going to the dr. every week now so that will help a little too. Which by the way, my last dr. visit was a bit discouraging. I was hoping he'd at least tell me I was a little dialated....but NOTHING!! Says baby's head is down in position and ready but there's no dialating yet. But I guess I can't rush it. So far with this pregnancy I have gained 24 pounds but still have a month to go. In the last 6 weeks I havent gained a pound so I don't know if I will pack them on in the end or not. I really have not had a whole lot of an appetite with the weather being so warm. I hope to keep my weight though within the 25-35 pound range that he said was normal and healthy!! Nick and I have continued our walking routine, some days its not far at all, just up to the post office and back and others we take a mile or two hike!! :-) Depends how I am feeling. But really nothing too new to report. Just that dr. said baby is there so now it just depends when I start contracting consistantly for labor.

Friday, July 25, 2008


Ugh, what a day!!
Had to go to work early today because I am taking off early for dr. appointment. Went to bed early because I was laying on the couch last night watching tv with my husband and he was rubbing my head and definately put me to sleep! woke up at 4 with the worst cramps ever in my legs, back, butt and low stomach!! Could not for the life of me fall back to sleep. Now at work, I honestly do not feel well, completely exhausted and drained. I go to stand up and I can feel every muscle and then some in my low stomach stretch. It feels as though Ashalyn is trying to tear all my insides to pieces. I have to stop in my tracks and bend with the pain of the piercing tearing muscles. ha, now I don't know that they are really tearing, guessing it's more stretching and getting ready for baby...but goodness i feels like they are ripping!! We have a dr. appointment later today and then right after is rehearsal for a wedding Nick is in this weekend. I honestly do not feel like going, but Nick is begging me to come, so gotta be there for him!! Will update more after appointment!!

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

a little excitement!!

Last night was interesting to say the least. I spent my evening up at the hospital under the impression that we just might have the baby. 2 nights ago, while going for a walk my stomach started contracting. Pretty consistant about every 4-7 minutes. They were doable though. So I kept walking. Then something strange and unusual began to happen. My entire stomach hardened just like a contraction but it never released. I walked for another 20 minutes thinking that would help. It didn't hurt, it was just the pressure was uncomfortable. So as I'm walking it gets harder and harder.
After 30 minutes like this Nicholas convinces me to at least call up to the OB department at the hospital. It rang and rang. Receptionist said they were in the middle of delivering a baby so I just decided to head home from the walk, take a shower and head to bed. By the time I took my warm shower the hardness slowly would release and then come back, release and come, etc for about 15 more minutes but only staying strong for a few seconds this time.
During the night then I was awaken by 2 different contractions and then 2 in the morning. I got to work and as I am talking with Crystal I had another one that I just talked my way through. I did not want to leave her with no sitter for the day so I didn't even mention it. Went through out the day, and my stomach continued to harden for great lengths of time and mom finally convinced me to call my doctor. And of course, it was his day off. I left a message with what was happening and said, but I see you on Friday so unless I hear from you I'll just wait til then, not thinkin' I'd hear anything because it was his day off. A
bout 4 hours later I received a phone call from the on call dr. saying his nurse happened to listen to my dr. voicemail for some reason (usually doesnt happen) and he decided I must go to the hospital and be hooked up to the monitor. If there was any stress on the baby we would be delivering! So...I fire off a text to Nick at work and tell him. I was still at work and had about an hour to go yet so I just waited it out. Nick went home and had time for his hair cut appt. that he had scheduled so I told him to go. That gave me time to go home after work get a bag completely together, the car seat, etc. just in case.
So now at this point I am hooked up to the machine and at first the contraction part of it was going crazy. (My stomach was still hard but not releasing like a normal contraction would.) It never really calmed down until the nurse brought me some water and I started drinking that. They gave me one of those huge mugs and told me to finish it. I stayed hooked up for a little over an hour and by the end my stomach was softened and baby's heartrate was good they said. The contractions at this point were at a consistant timing but the moniter read them as straight up and then right back down after a few seconds.
According to the nurse we are nearing the end but not quite there yet. Which is fine, we want to at least wait til August 3rd, for baby's sake and so Nick can get paid to take an entire week and a half off with me and baby!! He is able to take the 6 week family medical leave with me but unpaid, but we decided the paid week and a half is enough.
Finally, the on call dr. called in to see how I was doing and gave them permission to release me. I was given orders though. 4 huge mugs of water a day and stay off my feet as much as possible til my appointment with my dr on friday. I don't understand that one but he went to school just a little longer than myself so I guess he probably knows a little more than me! I always thought it was a good thing to walk and keep active while pregnant. I've been walking lots!!
I will start wrapping this novel up, but a few more thoughts. Last night Nicholas and I got to listen to our baby's beautiful heartbeat for over an hour straight. That was so amazing and actually made us all the more anxious for her arrival. I realized last night the importance of having a bag and everything ready. If I would have been truly in labor I think I would have delivered either at home or in the car on the way. And finally, it was so GREAT to hear the nurse say when she was checking me, "Baby is there!!" So now it's just waiting!! It could be a few weeks yet, but she's getting into position and ready to grace us!! It is such an AMAZING feeling and blessing knowing soon she will be out of the womb and in our arms!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


I have officially lost my mind! It took me all day today to figure out my password to here. Then on top of that our friends John and Becky called us up and asked if we could watch their 3 kids for the weekend so they could have a weekend alone at the lake. I was so excited about this. They have a 5th grader, a 2nd (?) grader and a newborn (well, he was born the end of Feb.) I sat and thought and thought and thought...thinking something was going on but could not for the life of me think what. So I said sure...well then remembered Nick is in a wedding this weekend. So unfortunately I probably won't be watching the kids. I was talking to my sister and told her "I'll stop by either tomorrow or Wednesday." She says, Uh, tomorrow is Wednesday!! I've completely lost it, I'm telling ya!! And to top it off...here's another story, the worst one yet.....So I think this story is cute, but it could be just my many many emotions I have running on and on NONSTOP!!I stopped by the post office after work yesterday to get our mail. Normally by the time I get there the post master, Cookie, is gone for the evening. I may have gotten there a few minutes earlier than normal, but it was a little ironic. There was nothing in our box but a little slip to see the postmaster. As soon as she saw me, she says, "Hi Valerie! Just wondering if you happen to know an Ashalyn Rice?" I stood there for a minute to think about it. The name sounded really familiar, but I usually just call her Ashalyn...so being in the midst of small contractions and not really thinkin' I pause even longer and then blurt out, "That's my baby!" Ha, now at this point there are 3 other people behind me, whom all know me. (I live in a very small town with only 200 some post office boxes.) and they are laughing at this point. Cookie then says, "well, she has mail!" Completely confused out of my mind, I just kinda drag out an "okaaaay?" with an extremely confused look on my face. How could she have mail already with no birth certificate, record of her name, nothing. haha!! But it was a very unexpected package from a good friend of mine, an old college roommate!! It was addressed to Mr and Mrs Rice "Ashalyn". The only names on our PO Box though are Nick and myself so that's where the confusion came in at the po. But yes, I am starting to lose my mind, if it hasn't gone completely. But it was such a fun little surprise and Ashalyn's first "piece of mail". So I'm sure I'll some how do a scrapbook page!! :-) Thanks to Emily and her beautiful son Cadyn, who I was told picked out the blankets!!! Made for a fun little day at the post office and a cute little story to tell!!

All these gifts for our beautiful baby from these two wonderful people!! Cadyn and Emily!

Monday, July 14, 2008

yucky feeling today

So, something super strange is going on with my body today. I woke up with an extreme amount of pressure right at my pelvic bone. When I walk around the pressure seems to intensify. I had been having contractions over the weekend that have had me stop in my tracks, but they have not been consistant. This pressure is in the same place as the contractions but doesn't feel the same. After a few minutes of walking, hoping Ashalyn would maybe try a new position of laying the pressure remained but was accompanied by vomiting yet again. So far the sick feeling really hasnt left and I had a little dizzy spell not too long ago. I am sort of hoping maybe all this is just my body getting ready to go into labor. However, it is still a little early. I am only 32 1/2 weeks and want to at least try to make it to the 36 week mark, but if guarenteed she's healthy I wouldn't mind delivering earlier. I am ready for the pressure to go away, the vomitting, and the constant questions of...how much longer do you have, you really are starting to look pregnant (no duh), wow, you look like you've dropped majorly, the other day I just got done throwing up and someone says, "how you been feeling lately?" Um....as if I have to tell you!! Anyways, that's enough of that....just really not sure why I feel so different today!!
I had the first of my many baby showers yesterday. It was a fun little time with family and friends. As I was opening gifts I come to a present that had a card that looked a LOT like my husbands writing. Thought that was odd. I opened it up and sure enough it was from Nicholas. Just wanted to send a little something thanking me again for giving him our baby. It was the willow tree ornament "our gift" with mom, dad and baby! He bought me one for our wedding and one when i found out I was pregnant and now one for baby!! :-) He is so great!! It was a nice little surprise and it got all the ladies saying aww! We got lots of adorable little outfits for Ashalyn and I think she definately is going to be "just a little" spoiled!! :-)
Well, i think that's all for now! Just thought i'd update again!!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

nothing real new!

I said I would keep this updated but really nothing has changed much. I STILL AM VERY VERY READY TO HAVE MY BABY! I am still throwing up some but not near as much. My blood pressure has been GREAT, but my swelling is still there! I have started contractions that can get painful but only last about 2 in an hour. So nothing close yet. We are looking at only a few more weeks. Doctor said I went into false labor, thinning my cervix but not dialating me!! So, I'm still waiting. Whcih is okay because it's still alittle early yet. He would at least like for me to hold off for 4 more weeks, which will seem like an eternity!! Really thats all I have for now, but after this weekend maybe I will try and figure out how to put pictures on!!! :-) Having one of my baby showers!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

blessed with the #1 husband EVER!!!!!

I know not many people read my blogs. Actually I am not sure if anyone does. I really have not shared my site with anyone and honestly don't know how many people actually know I have it. Matter of fact, my husband just found out about it a few days ago. I just never mentioned it because I did not know how well I would keep it updated or if there would be anything of interest to anyone. But, whether any one reads this or not, I HAVE to recognize my husband in this blog. He has been so incredible throughout this pregnancy and seems to understand everything I may be going through. Tonight, I swear I had a little mental breakdown and snapped at him for really no reason at all. I got home from work today, (after he had the day off) and was in a hurry to get ready for the Pettisville Friendship days!! Before we knew we were pregnant we took on the role of Co-Chair of the concessions, and in 2 years we will be the heads. Now, this has been A TON of added work to what I already have on my plate. Anyways, I am in a hurry and all Nicholas wanted was a kiss and to touch my belly. Normally I find this extremely cute and have no problem with it. I think the mix of hormones, me being in a hurry, and stress just made me snap and ask him to just leave me alone for one minute. Right after I snap I was in tears.....feeling absolutely horrible and just extremely ready to have our baby girl!! I hate feeling so insecure!! I have the most amazing human being moving and kicking around inside of me, just sooooo anxious for her to be here. God has blessed me with also the most incredible husband EVER and sometimes I just take advantage of that!!! I love Nicholas so much as a best friend, as my husband, and even more so now as the father of our little girl!!! I hate that I snapped at him tonight for the reason that I did and now I CANNOT SLEEP!! Right away I apologized to him, cried and just hugged him, and was super late to my duties at Friendship days, but I knew where I needed to be at that moment!!!!! In my baby's arms!!! I don't understand how I got so upset over something so simple and that is so important to him. I HATE IT!!! I want to sleep, but I can't! When do these emotions stop????? I yelled at one of the 2 most important people in my life and feel so low and selfish. He said he forgives me, but right now I am finding it so hard to forgive myself. Having this baby is the biggest blessing of my life, but why am I so ready to have her here with me, verses being pregnant anymore?? If that sounds like I am second guessing being pregnant, that is WRONG!!! I am just so ready to hold her, cuddle her, and just enjoy her on the outside!! Get past the hormones and going from one emotional extreme to the other. And am SOOO ready to be able to enjoy her with Nicholas. He hasn't really gotten to feel her move a whole lot, she isn't all that active on the outside. I feel her non-stop and LOVE IT!!! I am so ready to let Nicholas share in on it tho!!! Well, I say it's time for me to go crawl back in bed with my husband and pray for a good hour of sleep before i have to be back at the Friendship days, but just needed to take the time to recognize my husband and the man he has been/is!! I couldn't have gotten through this pregnancy without him and he definately deserves recognition!!! So to Nicholas, I love you baby! Thank you for standing beside me through this entire thing and for understanding even my weakest points, like tonight when I yelled at you. Thank you so much for giving me our little girl and the opportunity to carry her this far. And thank you soooo much for your interest in her, for kissing her everyday, and for the conversations you carry with her already. That really does mean the world and makes it all the more special to share it with you!! You are amazing and I am sooooo blessed to be your wife and to be carrying your child!!! I love you!!!!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

10 weeks and counting

I have been horrible at updating, but now that we are getting closer people are getting on me. We have a little less than 10 weeks and I am so ready to start trying to naturally induce her to come a little sooner. Whatever it takes I guess. haha! I am so ready. So far though I cannot complain. The summer has not been too hot but trust me I am ready. Things are starting to get much better since my last post. My swelling is not near as bad and my blood pressure is staying in the 120s and low 130s. Still getting up there but not near what it was. My throwing up is way down to about once or twice a week. Ugh, I am so tired of that part of pregnancy, but I won't complain because anything is better than what it was when it was nonstop throughout the day. We had another ultrasound and we are having a girl. I didn't care either way, but you should have seen me light up when they told us it was a girl. It just felt so good knowing that I can start saying she verses the baby. We have been shopping lots and our closets are filled with pink and purple. It has been so exciting. I am huge into scrapbooking so that was one of the first things I went out to buy. Doing the first few pages, with my belly and the ultrasound pictures was fun and actually brought tears to my eyes. Nicholas and I each wrote a letter to her already and put it in with the belly pictures. It is so crazy how much love you can already have for someone you have yet to meet. She is going to be absolutely amazing and the most important part of our lives. We have finally chose a name. We were debating back and forth between Ashalyn Faith and Bailey Allisyn, but decided that Ashalyn was so much prettier and fit so much more when we looked up the meanings of the two names. So unless something drastically changes Ashalyn is our name!!
I have been having contractions on and off that seem to be getting a little more intense with each one. I am sure it's just my body getting ready for actual labor but it is starting to really excite me and make me all the more anxious. I am at the point where I've had my fun being pregnant, now I just want her here so I can hold her and cuddle her. Being a "mom" has been so fun so far that I can't wait til it is actually here for real!!!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

last few days

well, my last few days have not been fun. My swelling in my legs and feet looks great...but the headache just won't go away. I've had a headache for almost 30 hours straight now. It is accompanied by severe exhaustion, all I have done is sleep, and vomiting, nosebleeds, and blurriness. I have been drinking quite a bit of water, but it seems that I am still retaining fluids, my body has imprints all over it. My ankles are are funny color, they almost look bruised, where all the swelling was. I am just so ready for today's doctor appointment...i really hope we find out something. Why am I STILL so sick? I am 5 months pregnant and should be over that by now. My doctor has not ordered an ultrasound yet (i had one at 8 weeks) and I am sooooo ready to find out what we are having. Some people are saying he won't order another unless it's needed....but goodness, I am so ready to go shopping!!!!! Well, i'm gonna go eat breakfast, just wanted to blogged again real quick! I'll update more after my appointment hopefully!

Thursday, April 24, 2008

a very fast catch up!

I have stopped blogging for awhile for a few reasons. First we have been so extremely busy. We have moved, tried getting everything around for a garage sale that is going on today and been extremely uncomfortable and miserable. My blood pressure has been going crazy...the highest its been is the 159/102 and the swelling has started already. My feet and legs have been huge...there's days where I have no toes it seems! So our last doctors visit was kinda of confusing....and I'm not one to ask questions...so guess I am going to have to learn, because i have been thinkin about it non-stop since then. But a friend, that blogs on here, just wrote about journaling throughout her pregnancy and it made me realize the importance of it. Maybe it will help me to get things off my mind and sleep better. A few visits ago, our doctor asked us, do you want to to the AFP test, which determines certain things that could be wrong with the pregnancy I guess. I didn't ask any questions and said "sure" and it happened within a matter of a minute of him asking us. If I would have been given more time to think about it...we would NOT have done it! It's not like the test results would change anything!! Well, at our last visit, Nicholas asked about the test, because we never heard anything. He looked through my file and found the results...me being a little nosey started reading...he had them right there so I could see......and I read lots of not so fun things......the doctor was looking at it for quite some time, so I had a good chance to look....then he says, "I'll be back, i want to check something." and he leaves. All I can think about at the time was what I just read and all the things that came back positive. I instantly grew scared and worried about my baby, and just kept telling myself..."if only I would have thrown up so much, or drank just a little more water, or kept my vitamins down." But then the dr came back in and says...we aren't even gonna go off of this test because it was taken a week too late and there is such a high rate of false positives. But now, I'm past the 16-18 week mark and cant do the test. I'm sure things are okay because if not he would have told me right??? But there still is that question in the back of my mind that will be there til the next ultrasound and he tells me my baby is okay!! The vomiting has slowly resided, but still there. I have my horrible days and my good days!! Still not keeping down my vitamins. My feet are still horribly huge and swollen. As of now though there is not a ton of concern about that, but it does get to the point where I cannot walk on them. But on a more fun side of pregnancy.....the other day I hadnt felt the baby move all day...and at night I decided to put on some Christian worship music at my belly and instantly our baby went crazy!! Moved the entire time!!! Maybe she will be a dancer! Ha, my husband seems to think he is practicing his football moves!! LOL!!! We will see!!! Nicholas was finally able to feel the baby for more than a second this time!!! There are so many things that have made me feel like pregnancy is WAY over rated.....but then he/she moves and makes it all seem worth it!!! I will try to blog more often now and actually will try for it to make more sense...today was mostly ramblings and trying to catch up quickly!!!

Monday, March 17, 2008

long week/weekend

It's been a little since i've updated but we have been so busy this last week and weekend that I have not had the chance. I have still been having my morning sickness on occassion this week, but since the bags of fluid I have been feeling much better. I had a doctor's visit on Friday and we finally found the baby's heartbeat and it was going strong. We had the blood work done that checks for birth defects and I'm not sure really how I felt about that. He asked us and we had a minute to decide. I think if we would have thought about it we would have chose not to do it. The results of this test are not going to change anything for us as far as how we go about the pregnancy. We are starting to come to a conclusion as to why I have the morning sickness so bad, but even that has turned into a long complicated mess, which has led us to some legal issues. I have to admit Saturday was a very emotional day for me. Nicholas and i went and looked at a house we are interested in buying and were in such a whirlwind as what to do. Now is the perfect time to buy but we have a few setbacks right now that are causing us to debate. Sunday we went up to Ann Arbor and saw some friends of ours and their little newborn baby girl, Cayman. She is such a beautiful little baby and such a strong little girl. Her and her family could really use your prayers though!! They are such an awesome family and have been through so much!! And as for the rest of the evening we spent back at our old home and trying to work out some of the legal issues. That can be so discouraging. As for a good night's sleep, I am due! And think I am off to try and get a little more sleep. I have been up since 2am.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

hospital visit

Sunday was a rough morning for me. Actually got up to head to church but began to crave chocolate chip cookies. On the way to the store to get some, I began vomitting again. Church was no longer an option so I went home and went back to bed. Woke up again vomiting, but refused to spend my entire day laying around. So I forced myself to get up and clean my house. I mopped my floors, did my dishes, and cleaned. But then got an urge to make a huge supper, so we invited my mother-in-law and sister in law over. Shortly after supper, Chelsea got the urge for Dairy queen and so her and Nick went to pick up ice cream for everyone, meanwhile Carla stays back and helps with dinner dishes and I find myself right back in the bathroom, but this time with severe cramping. Carla called Lindsey at the hospital to ask her about it and all the nurses said I needed to get into the hospital...so as soon as Nick got home we headed up there. We arrived in the ER at 9 and by the time they figured I needed to be omitted for the night it was 2am. I once again was dehydrated from all the vomiting and my white blood count was very elevated; which means my body was fighting off some sort of infection. The ER doctor came in saying, I have some good and bad news....good news, we are gonna take u upstairs so u can be monitored, bad news....we think your appendix is about to go. But being pregnant they were unable to do a catscan so they just watched me. Now, this explains all the sickness. Over the night and thanks to the iv bags, my count began to drop again. Which began to rule out appendix. Come to find out there my cervex is inflammed from the pregnancy which is why I have been so sick and will continue to have discomfort throughtout. I have an appointment this friday to discuss further options.

Friday, March 7, 2008

had to call the doctor

After severe headaches all throughout the day yesterday and the day before, I decided it was best to call my doctor. My headaches were causing me to throw up continuously and leaving everything blurry. With this pregnancy I have developed migranes. I have never had a problem with migranes prior so I guess I just didn't think it was possible. The nurse said it is very common for pregnant woman to get their very first one. All i know is MIGRANES SUCK!! But in the meantime, we were talking and he is starting to feel it is possible for me to also have hypoglecemia. So a week from today I have to go in and get my blood tested for low blood sugar and diabetes. This is also common in pregnant woman and I have a history of it back in high school when I played sports. So he is just gonna check and make sure that it has not become a factor again. If that's the case I will then have to be monitered more closely and go in for more check ups during pregnancy. This will explain a little of why I have been vomiting so much and feeling so yucky!! I am getting so anxious to have this baby.....ha, and I have a long ways to go yet!! The great thing though is we have so many friends also getting ready to deliver. That seems to be helping me be patient!!! John and Becky had a leap year baby, mike and kristen will be delivering next week, shannon in the month to follow, then elizabeth, then katie and then finally my turn!! Then we will be having a niece or nephew a few short weeks after ours is born!! How exciting!!!!!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

first blog on pregnancy

I have a few friends that blog here so I thought I'd give it a shot. I've been keeping a calender for my baby of different things but it doesnt really allow me to write much and actually blog about how I'm feeling. I am so blessed to have a precious little one growing inside me, but I will be honest, sometimes it just gets me down. I feel like I can't go to anyone about it because every woman that has been pregnant has been here before and I dont want it to seem like I have it any worse or better than they do. I never really felt for those pregnant woman that are constantly sick until I've been through it myself. I always would tell my friends, but look what you will get in the end. Now, when people tell me that I just want to smack them. I understand that when that day comes this is all going to be worth every trip running to the bathroom, every second hurled over the toilet, every headache, and every meal I havent been able to enjoy. But right now, it has been so hard for me to even get excited about my pregnancy. I feel like I've had it all, the flu, dehydration, bladder infection, sinus infection...it's all been there. Everyone tells me, it's gonna get better soon, but it looks like there is no end in sight. I've had two scheduled visits already where we have listened for a heartbeat and then had an ultrasound. We have not been able to find the heartbeat either time, which causes a little worry from me, but they say it still could be early. I am just so ready to feel or hear something that outweighs the throwing up, nauseua, headaches, etc. I promise all these blogs won't be this discouraging. I am super excited and feel super blessed to be carrying one of God's children. It has been one of the best experiences overall and I will share the positive too. Today has just been a rough day!!

Things I am praying for:
*a strong healthy baby
*for Him to prepare Nicholas and I for parenting
*for all the other mom's out there pregnant and carrying children that could grow up to be friends of our little one
*nourishment of my body so that the baby can take what he/she needs

Our sweet Miranda

Our sweet Miranda


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