Saturday, June 28, 2008

blessed with the #1 husband EVER!!!!!

I know not many people read my blogs. Actually I am not sure if anyone does. I really have not shared my site with anyone and honestly don't know how many people actually know I have it. Matter of fact, my husband just found out about it a few days ago. I just never mentioned it because I did not know how well I would keep it updated or if there would be anything of interest to anyone. But, whether any one reads this or not, I HAVE to recognize my husband in this blog. He has been so incredible throughout this pregnancy and seems to understand everything I may be going through. Tonight, I swear I had a little mental breakdown and snapped at him for really no reason at all. I got home from work today, (after he had the day off) and was in a hurry to get ready for the Pettisville Friendship days!! Before we knew we were pregnant we took on the role of Co-Chair of the concessions, and in 2 years we will be the heads. Now, this has been A TON of added work to what I already have on my plate. Anyways, I am in a hurry and all Nicholas wanted was a kiss and to touch my belly. Normally I find this extremely cute and have no problem with it. I think the mix of hormones, me being in a hurry, and stress just made me snap and ask him to just leave me alone for one minute. Right after I snap I was in tears.....feeling absolutely horrible and just extremely ready to have our baby girl!! I hate feeling so insecure!! I have the most amazing human being moving and kicking around inside of me, just sooooo anxious for her to be here. God has blessed me with also the most incredible husband EVER and sometimes I just take advantage of that!!! I love Nicholas so much as a best friend, as my husband, and even more so now as the father of our little girl!!! I hate that I snapped at him tonight for the reason that I did and now I CANNOT SLEEP!! Right away I apologized to him, cried and just hugged him, and was super late to my duties at Friendship days, but I knew where I needed to be at that moment!!!!! In my baby's arms!!! I don't understand how I got so upset over something so simple and that is so important to him. I HATE IT!!! I want to sleep, but I can't! When do these emotions stop????? I yelled at one of the 2 most important people in my life and feel so low and selfish. He said he forgives me, but right now I am finding it so hard to forgive myself. Having this baby is the biggest blessing of my life, but why am I so ready to have her here with me, verses being pregnant anymore?? If that sounds like I am second guessing being pregnant, that is WRONG!!! I am just so ready to hold her, cuddle her, and just enjoy her on the outside!! Get past the hormones and going from one emotional extreme to the other. And am SOOO ready to be able to enjoy her with Nicholas. He hasn't really gotten to feel her move a whole lot, she isn't all that active on the outside. I feel her non-stop and LOVE IT!!! I am so ready to let Nicholas share in on it tho!!! Well, I say it's time for me to go crawl back in bed with my husband and pray for a good hour of sleep before i have to be back at the Friendship days, but just needed to take the time to recognize my husband and the man he has been/is!! I couldn't have gotten through this pregnancy without him and he definately deserves recognition!!! So to Nicholas, I love you baby! Thank you for standing beside me through this entire thing and for understanding even my weakest points, like tonight when I yelled at you. Thank you so much for giving me our little girl and the opportunity to carry her this far. And thank you soooo much for your interest in her, for kissing her everyday, and for the conversations you carry with her already. That really does mean the world and makes it all the more special to share it with you!! You are amazing and I am sooooo blessed to be your wife and to be carrying your child!!! I love you!!!!

Our sweet Miranda

Our sweet Miranda


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