Saturday, June 28, 2008

blessed with the #1 husband EVER!!!!!

I know not many people read my blogs. Actually I am not sure if anyone does. I really have not shared my site with anyone and honestly don't know how many people actually know I have it. Matter of fact, my husband just found out about it a few days ago. I just never mentioned it because I did not know how well I would keep it updated or if there would be anything of interest to anyone. But, whether any one reads this or not, I HAVE to recognize my husband in this blog. He has been so incredible throughout this pregnancy and seems to understand everything I may be going through. Tonight, I swear I had a little mental breakdown and snapped at him for really no reason at all. I got home from work today, (after he had the day off) and was in a hurry to get ready for the Pettisville Friendship days!! Before we knew we were pregnant we took on the role of Co-Chair of the concessions, and in 2 years we will be the heads. Now, this has been A TON of added work to what I already have on my plate. Anyways, I am in a hurry and all Nicholas wanted was a kiss and to touch my belly. Normally I find this extremely cute and have no problem with it. I think the mix of hormones, me being in a hurry, and stress just made me snap and ask him to just leave me alone for one minute. Right after I snap I was in tears.....feeling absolutely horrible and just extremely ready to have our baby girl!! I hate feeling so insecure!! I have the most amazing human being moving and kicking around inside of me, just sooooo anxious for her to be here. God has blessed me with also the most incredible husband EVER and sometimes I just take advantage of that!!! I love Nicholas so much as a best friend, as my husband, and even more so now as the father of our little girl!!! I hate that I snapped at him tonight for the reason that I did and now I CANNOT SLEEP!! Right away I apologized to him, cried and just hugged him, and was super late to my duties at Friendship days, but I knew where I needed to be at that moment!!!!! In my baby's arms!!! I don't understand how I got so upset over something so simple and that is so important to him. I HATE IT!!! I want to sleep, but I can't! When do these emotions stop????? I yelled at one of the 2 most important people in my life and feel so low and selfish. He said he forgives me, but right now I am finding it so hard to forgive myself. Having this baby is the biggest blessing of my life, but why am I so ready to have her here with me, verses being pregnant anymore?? If that sounds like I am second guessing being pregnant, that is WRONG!!! I am just so ready to hold her, cuddle her, and just enjoy her on the outside!! Get past the hormones and going from one emotional extreme to the other. And am SOOO ready to be able to enjoy her with Nicholas. He hasn't really gotten to feel her move a whole lot, she isn't all that active on the outside. I feel her non-stop and LOVE IT!!! I am so ready to let Nicholas share in on it tho!!! Well, I say it's time for me to go crawl back in bed with my husband and pray for a good hour of sleep before i have to be back at the Friendship days, but just needed to take the time to recognize my husband and the man he has been/is!! I couldn't have gotten through this pregnancy without him and he definately deserves recognition!!! So to Nicholas, I love you baby! Thank you for standing beside me through this entire thing and for understanding even my weakest points, like tonight when I yelled at you. Thank you so much for giving me our little girl and the opportunity to carry her this far. And thank you soooo much for your interest in her, for kissing her everyday, and for the conversations you carry with her already. That really does mean the world and makes it all the more special to share it with you!! You are amazing and I am sooooo blessed to be your wife and to be carrying your child!!! I love you!!!!

Thursday, June 26, 2008

10 weeks and counting

I have been horrible at updating, but now that we are getting closer people are getting on me. We have a little less than 10 weeks and I am so ready to start trying to naturally induce her to come a little sooner. Whatever it takes I guess. haha! I am so ready. So far though I cannot complain. The summer has not been too hot but trust me I am ready. Things are starting to get much better since my last post. My swelling is not near as bad and my blood pressure is staying in the 120s and low 130s. Still getting up there but not near what it was. My throwing up is way down to about once or twice a week. Ugh, I am so tired of that part of pregnancy, but I won't complain because anything is better than what it was when it was nonstop throughout the day. We had another ultrasound and we are having a girl. I didn't care either way, but you should have seen me light up when they told us it was a girl. It just felt so good knowing that I can start saying she verses the baby. We have been shopping lots and our closets are filled with pink and purple. It has been so exciting. I am huge into scrapbooking so that was one of the first things I went out to buy. Doing the first few pages, with my belly and the ultrasound pictures was fun and actually brought tears to my eyes. Nicholas and I each wrote a letter to her already and put it in with the belly pictures. It is so crazy how much love you can already have for someone you have yet to meet. She is going to be absolutely amazing and the most important part of our lives. We have finally chose a name. We were debating back and forth between Ashalyn Faith and Bailey Allisyn, but decided that Ashalyn was so much prettier and fit so much more when we looked up the meanings of the two names. So unless something drastically changes Ashalyn is our name!!
I have been having contractions on and off that seem to be getting a little more intense with each one. I am sure it's just my body getting ready for actual labor but it is starting to really excite me and make me all the more anxious. I am at the point where I've had my fun being pregnant, now I just want her here so I can hold her and cuddle her. Being a "mom" has been so fun so far that I can't wait til it is actually here for real!!!

Our sweet Miranda

Our sweet Miranda


Blog Archive