Tuesday, October 21, 2008

fall is my favorite time of year

So, I decided to make this an everything blog! I'm sure most of it will still be about Ashalyn but I always want to say other things and I try to remind myself that the blog was titled pregnancy journal. So here it is!!!!

What a week we've had! Thursday night Nicholas and I stayed awake just dreading the morning to come. I was supposed to leave for work at 730 am and Nick was going to keep Ashalyn for the morning before he had to leave for an out of town wedding he was in. We all dreaded it. Nick was excited that his best friend was getting married, but unexcited that Ashalyn and I were not going to make it there until 6 pm the next night. Yes, call us babies, but we have yet spent the night away from each other. The closest we have come was when Ashalyn was born and I slept in the hospital bed and he on the couch in the same room. One thing that I found neat when my grandfather passed away was that til the day he spent in the hospital he and my grandmother did not spend a night apart. I admired that in them and hope for the same with Nicholas and I! And his 10 hr work day is the longest he has left Ashalyn. So there were tears just talking about it.

Well, during the night, I decided to tell Nicholas when he got down there to find out the rate of a hotel room. That way Ashalyn and I could at least see him in the morning and he could come say goodnight before we went to bed. Come to find out, Matt (the groom) was able to get a group rate of $69.99. That is an awesome rate for a hotel room. So as soon as I left work, Ashalyn and I made the trip to see Dad!!! :-) It was the best decision we could have made. Now, the 2 1/2 hour trip with an infant by myself was a bit much. But well worth it!!!

We got there and Ashalyn and I chilled in the hotel for a little until we were able to go to the church to see dad (nicholas) for a while. Then we went back to the hotel while daddy and the other groomsmen played flag football. I met one of the groomsmen's wife and their 7 month old baby and we talked for a while and decided while the boys were playing football we were going to attempt the pool with our little ones. And believe it or not, Ashalyn loved it!! I thought she may be too little yet and not enjoy the colder water, i mean, it definately was not bath water!!

Then daddy came to say goodnight and found out that most the groomsmen were going there own way for the night, so he even got to stay with us!!!!! :-) Now, Ashalyn was up most the night, but we enjoyed our time together as a family. The wedding was such a nice, private service at the college church that they attend and the reception was near 2 hours away.

Nick drove the newly married couple, Matt and Jami Beck to the reception so Ashalyn and I had to make another 2 hour journey by ourselves. However, right as we were pulling out from the church I received a phone call from mom. She said that my 2 second cousins were in an ATV accident. Clarissa was killed and Justin was lifeflighted. WOW, what news to hear right before you are about to make a 2 hour drive, just you and your 2 month old. So I had to keep myself composed for the entire drive. Throughout the drive my thoughts ran crazy. Not too many weeks ago I talked to Justin's mom about how amazing being a mom was as she adored little Ashalyn....and then my mind runs back to just a few months ago, outside of the school building, I watch Justin and his friends goofing off, and he says, "oh it's okay, she's my cousin, she won't care!" And then I go back to Christmas and I remember Clarissa's big beautiful smile every year. And her and Kaitlyn hiding under the table, as if I can't see them, waiting for me to find them (yes, that was several years ago!). Clarissa was a 2nd cousin and we didn't see each other often, but I WILL NEVER forget her beautiful smile she ALWAYS had!!!! What a sweet young woman!!

While driving and going down memory line, I couldn't help but to lift the parents of these two up in prayer. Ashalyn has been with us for only 2 short months, but once you have a baby you look at life completely different. I could never imagine, getting news of her being gone, or even injured for that matter. I notice all the beautiful red, orange and yellow trees on this trip. Everything seems to be so much brighter, so much more beautiful, and just so much more meaningful with Ashalyn here. And then to be reminded, how fragile life is. How even the littlest things, like having fun on a four wheeler with your cousin that happened to be home from college for the day, can be life changing events. And it all makes you realize how great our God is. All I can think right at that point, was how beautiful God's creation is, the trees and blue sky, but even more so....LIFE!

I look in my mirror to see a person so full of life in the back, cooing, and smiling and am reminding how I need to cherish every moment with her. I wish so bad I could call Rod and Brenda up and have the words to say to them, but what, what could someone possibly say to comfort them in a time like this, knowing that because of a single foxhole that God placed with care, took the life of their daughter. It's hard to think of, but at the same time, you think, when God watched that fox find a place in His beautiful creation, to make that hole, He knew that that exact part of nature and of His doings was what would bring his beautiful child, Clarissa to Him. And now she is up there dancing and rejoicing with Him.

So then we attempt the reception. It was beautiful. Fall colors and a dance floor outside at Pretty Lake in Indiana. A cool fall night, where people joined together sharing memories and verses and marriage to dos. It was such a great reminder of commitment and what it means to remain together as husband and wife, as one!! As you can tell, the weekend brought so many mixed emotions and was rather eventful, but very much needed as a reminder to truly cherish life, our marriage, our little girl and to spend tiem in God's amazing creation!!!!!

1 comment:

Kristen said...

The first time Mike and I spent time away from each other was when I was pregnant with Cayman. He was gone a whole week for work. It was miserable without him.

I heard about the accident. I did't realize they were your cousins. I'm so sad for you all.

Smooch Ashalyn for me!! I want to see her soon.

Our sweet Miranda

Our sweet Miranda


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