Thursday, June 10, 2010

God's story

I have heard more than I want to hear, "there is a reason for all of this".

Now I do believe all things happen for a reason, but when you are going through life day by day not sure how things will affect you, things people say, peoples reactions to you etc. Sometimes it's hard to put together that the things you HAVE to go through really do have a reason and it's definately hard to understand when you're on the not so fun side of it.....but here is my story for today.

I was a little hesitant about taking Ashalyn to the nursery class while Bible School was going on. All her friends that I watch were going to be at my house and she just LOVES playing with why take her away from that I thought?! So we went Monday as a trial run...and she did great (at least that's what they tell me). She has been going to the worship and drama with the big kids, they painted backpacks, etc. Yesterday when I said "You ready to go Ashalyn." She raised her arms in the air and said, "yea!!! chool (school)" and she ran with me out the door. She was so excited. Yesterday while driving I looked in my mirror to see my sweet little girl with her hands up by her face doing some motions to a song they learned and she was mumbling all kinds of jibberish words, but I'm convinced she was singing the song (maybe not the correct words) but it was just too adorable. And then...there's a teacher in there. Ashalyn and her for some reason just clicked. She's new to our church and Ashalyn just loved her. Everytime I go to pick her up Ashalyn's next to her, playing with her, or holding her hand when they walk to the sanctuary for singing.
Now, I have been doing something that may make me a bad mother, but when she is so willing to go in and play I quickly take off...don't want to stick around talking to the teachers to give her time to change her mind about going in there. I know the ladies name, but did not take the time to say much more than what needed to be said to give her the idea of what Ashalyn would need for the day. Today as I was picking up Ashalyn I had my niece in there with me and the teacher says to her, "is Ashalyn your sister?" I politely explained that "no, these are my sister's children." Then she goes on to say, "is she your only child?" And with that, other teachers distracted our talking to me and the other talking to her. I overheard the conversation of..."I'll explain later." So, not wanting to make her feel awkward or even bad for asking I continued my conversation with the one and I walked out and left for the day.
Not because I didn't want to talk about it, matter of fact, I'd LOVE to talk about my other children. But because it does put many people in an awkward situation. So I walked out and let that whole conversation go. I let the other teachers explain my situation for me. We are getting ready to walk out the door of the church and she comes up to me and says, "I am so sorry about your daughter." She didn't apologize for asking but she apologized for Miranda. She then went on to say, "I know how hard that question is to answer. I too lost an unborn baby and a toddler in a car accident 6 years ago."
There was a reason her and Ashalyn were so "close" throughout this week....and just when I'm feeling a little out of place, where it's hard to relate to people (mom's specifically) on certain levels...I'm reminded there are people who unfortunately do get me, do understand, and do care enough to say Miranda's name! I can't express enough how much she means to me this week and how awesome our God is to know where our needs are and He meets those needs in some of the neatest ways.
And here I thought I was Bible School superintendant for the kids.....but come to find out God used that ministry to touch me!!!!


Anonymous said...

This gave me goose-bumps! Thanks for sharing it!

Kathy said...

I wish more people would feel free to talk to you about Miranda. When you lose someone you love you do want to talk about it. That is part of the healing process. I know it is hard to talk about it because they do not want to make you cry but that brings joy to us that have lost special people in our lives when they do talk about your special loved one. I am so thankful for that special teacher that is taking a special interest in Ashalyn. Thank you for sharing one of your God stories. Love Mom

Julie said...

God always provides what we need if we look for it!! I am amazed how many people we know have a child in heaven. Glad your week is going well!

Lauren said...

Valerie - thank you so much for stopping by my blog and leaving such a sweet comment I'm so glad you're following along too! :)

This is a beautiful post and a wonderful example of God's love for us. I am so glad you found someone who understands just how tough that question can be. I still haven't figured out how to answer it... when people ask if Tucker (our baby in Ethiopia) will be our first... I just hesitate. Well, no - technically he's our 5th... but most people just don't understand. I think it's wonderful that the teacher understood and has a special bond with Ashalyn now.

Wow - this is a really long comment! I'll stop now - but know that you are in my prayers!!! :)

Our sweet Miranda

Our sweet Miranda


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