nothing real new!

I said I would keep this updated but really nothing has changed much. I STILL AM VERY VERY READY TO HAVE MY BABY! I am still throwing up some but not near as much. My blood pressure has been GREAT, but my swelling is still there! I have started contractions that can get painful but only last about 2 in an hour. So nothing close yet. We are looking at only a few more weeks. Doctor said I went into false labor, thinning my cervix but not dialating me!! So, I'm still waiting. Whcih is okay because it's still alittle early yet. He would at least like for me to hold off for 4 more weeks, which will seem like an eternity!! Really thats all I have for now, but after this weekend maybe I will try and figure out how to put pictures on!!! :-) Having one of my baby showers!

blessed with the #1 husband EVER!!!!!

I know not many people read my blogs. Actually I am not sure if anyone does. I really have not shared my site with anyone and honestly don't know how many people actually know I have it. Matter of fact, my husband just found out about it a few days ago. I just never mentioned it because I did not know how well I would keep it updated or if there would be anything of interest to anyone. But, whether any one reads this or not, I HAVE to recognize my husband in this blog. He has been so incredible throughout this pregnancy and seems to understand everything I may be going through. Tonight, I swear I had a little mental breakdown and snapped at him for really no reason at all. I got home from work today, (after he had the day off) and was in a hurry to get ready for the Pettisville Friendship days!! Before we knew we were pregnant we took on the role of Co-Chair of the concessions, and in 2 years we will be the heads. Now, this has been A TON of added work to what I already have on my plate. Anyways, I am in a hurry and all Nicholas wanted was a kiss and to touch my belly. Normally I find this extremely cute and have no problem with it. I think the mix of hormones, me being in a hurry, and stress just made me snap and ask him to just leave me alone for one minute. Right after I snap I was in tears.....feeling absolutely horrible and just extremely ready to have our baby girl!! I hate feeling so insecure!! I have the most amazing human being moving and kicking around inside of me, just sooooo anxious for her to be here. God has blessed me with also the most incredible husband EVER and sometimes I just take advantage of that!!! I love Nicholas so much as a best friend, as my husband, and even more so now as the father of our little girl!!! I hate that I snapped at him tonight for the reason that I did and now I CANNOT SLEEP!! Right away I apologized to him, cried and just hugged him, and was super late to my duties at Friendship days, but I knew where I needed to be at that moment!!!!! In my baby's arms!!! I don't understand how I got so upset over something so simple and that is so important to him. I HATE IT!!! I want to sleep, but I can't! When do these emotions stop????? I yelled at one of the 2 most important people in my life and feel so low and selfish. He said he forgives me, but right now I am finding it so hard to forgive myself. Having this baby is the biggest blessing of my life, but why am I so ready to have her here with me, verses being pregnant anymore?? If that sounds like I am second guessing being pregnant, that is WRONG!!! I am just so ready to hold her, cuddle her, and just enjoy her on the outside!! Get past the hormones and going from one emotional extreme to the other. And am SOOO ready to be able to enjoy her with Nicholas. He hasn't really gotten to feel her move a whole lot, she isn't all that active on the outside. I feel her non-stop and LOVE IT!!! I am so ready to let Nicholas share in on it tho!!! Well, I say it's time for me to go crawl back in bed with my husband and pray for a good hour of sleep before i have to be back at the Friendship days, but just needed to take the time to recognize my husband and the man he has been/is!! I couldn't have gotten through this pregnancy without him and he definately deserves recognition!!! So to Nicholas, I love you baby! Thank you for standing beside me through this entire thing and for understanding even my weakest points, like tonight when I yelled at you. Thank you so much for giving me our little girl and the opportunity to carry her this far. And thank you soooo much for your interest in her, for kissing her everyday, and for the conversations you carry with her already. That really does mean the world and makes it all the more special to share it with you!! You are amazing and I am sooooo blessed to be your wife and to be carrying your child!!! I love you!!!!

10 weeks and counting

I have been horrible at updating, but now that we are getting closer people are getting on me. We have a little less than 10 weeks and I am so ready to start trying to naturally induce her to come a little sooner. Whatever it takes I guess. haha! I am so ready. So far though I cannot complain. The summer has not been too hot but trust me I am ready. Things are starting to get much better since my last post. My swelling is not near as bad and my blood pressure is staying in the 120s and low 130s. Still getting up there but not near what it was. My throwing up is way down to about once or twice a week. Ugh, I am so tired of that part of pregnancy, but I won't complain because anything is better than what it was when it was nonstop throughout the day. We had another ultrasound and we are having a girl. I didn't care either way, but you should have seen me light up when they told us it was a girl. It just felt so good knowing that I can start saying she verses the baby. We have been shopping lots and our closets are filled with pink and purple. It has been so exciting. I am huge into scrapbooking so that was one of the first things I went out to buy. Doing the first few pages, with my belly and the ultrasound pictures was fun and actually brought tears to my eyes. Nicholas and I each wrote a letter to her already and put it in with the belly pictures. It is so crazy how much love you can already have for someone you have yet to meet. She is going to be absolutely amazing and the most important part of our lives. We have finally chose a name. We were debating back and forth between Ashalyn Faith and Bailey Allisyn, but decided that Ashalyn was so much prettier and fit so much more when we looked up the meanings of the two names. So unless something drastically changes Ashalyn is our name!!
I have been having contractions on and off that seem to be getting a little more intense with each one. I am sure it's just my body getting ready for actual labor but it is starting to really excite me and make me all the more anxious. I am at the point where I've had my fun being pregnant, now I just want her here so I can hold her and cuddle her. Being a "mom" has been so fun so far that I can't wait til it is actually here for real!!!

last few days

well, my last few days have not been fun. My swelling in my legs and feet looks great...but the headache just won't go away. I've had a headache for almost 30 hours straight now. It is accompanied by severe exhaustion, all I have done is sleep, and vomiting, nosebleeds, and blurriness. I have been drinking quite a bit of water, but it seems that I am still retaining fluids, my body has imprints all over it. My ankles are are funny color, they almost look bruised, where all the swelling was. I am just so ready for today's doctor appointment...i really hope we find out something. Why am I STILL so sick? I am 5 months pregnant and should be over that by now. My doctor has not ordered an ultrasound yet (i had one at 8 weeks) and I am sooooo ready to find out what we are having. Some people are saying he won't order another unless it's needed....but goodness, I am so ready to go shopping!!!!! Well, i'm gonna go eat breakfast, just wanted to blogged again real quick! I'll update more after my appointment hopefully!

a very fast catch up!

I have stopped blogging for awhile for a few reasons. First we have been so extremely busy. We have moved, tried getting everything around for a garage sale that is going on today and been extremely uncomfortable and miserable. My blood pressure has been going crazy...the highest its been is the 159/102 and the swelling has started already. My feet and legs have been huge...there's days where I have no toes it seems! So our last doctors visit was kinda of confusing....and I'm not one to ask questions...so guess I am going to have to learn, because i have been thinkin about it non-stop since then. But a friend, that blogs on here, just wrote about journaling throughout her pregnancy and it made me realize the importance of it. Maybe it will help me to get things off my mind and sleep better. A few visits ago, our doctor asked us, do you want to to the AFP test, which determines certain things that could be wrong with the pregnancy I guess. I didn't ask any questions and said "sure" and it happened within a matter of a minute of him asking us. If I would have been given more time to think about it...we would NOT have done it! It's not like the test results would change anything!! Well, at our last visit, Nicholas asked about the test, because we never heard anything. He looked through my file and found the results...me being a little nosey started reading...he had them right there so I could see......and I read lots of not so fun things......the doctor was looking at it for quite some time, so I had a good chance to look....then he says, "I'll be back, i want to check something." and he leaves. All I can think about at the time was what I just read and all the things that came back positive. I instantly grew scared and worried about my baby, and just kept telling myself..."if only I would have thrown up so much, or drank just a little more water, or kept my vitamins down." But then the dr came back in and says...we aren't even gonna go off of this test because it was taken a week too late and there is such a high rate of false positives. But now, I'm past the 16-18 week mark and cant do the test. I'm sure things are okay because if not he would have told me right??? But there still is that question in the back of my mind that will be there til the next ultrasound and he tells me my baby is okay!! The vomiting has slowly resided, but still there. I have my horrible days and my good days!! Still not keeping down my vitamins. My feet are still horribly huge and swollen. As of now though there is not a ton of concern about that, but it does get to the point where I cannot walk on them. But on a more fun side of pregnancy.....the other day I hadnt felt the baby move all day...and at night I decided to put on some Christian worship music at my belly and instantly our baby went crazy!! Moved the entire time!!! Maybe she will be a dancer! Ha, my husband seems to think he is practicing his football moves!! LOL!!! We will see!!! Nicholas was finally able to feel the baby for more than a second this time!!! There are so many things that have made me feel like pregnancy is WAY over rated.....but then he/she moves and makes it all seem worth it!!! I will try to blog more often now and actually will try for it to make more sense...today was mostly ramblings and trying to catch up quickly!!!

long week/weekend

It's been a little since i've updated but we have been so busy this last week and weekend that I have not had the chance. I have still been having my morning sickness on occassion this week, but since the bags of fluid I have been feeling much better. I had a doctor's visit on Friday and we finally found the baby's heartbeat and it was going strong. We had the blood work done that checks for birth defects and I'm not sure really how I felt about that. He asked us and we had a minute to decide. I think if we would have thought about it we would have chose not to do it. The results of this test are not going to change anything for us as far as how we go about the pregnancy. We are starting to come to a conclusion as to why I have the morning sickness so bad, but even that has turned into a long complicated mess, which has led us to some legal issues. I have to admit Saturday was a very emotional day for me. Nicholas and i went and looked at a house we are interested in buying and were in such a whirlwind as what to do. Now is the perfect time to buy but we have a few setbacks right now that are causing us to debate. Sunday we went up to Ann Arbor and saw some friends of ours and their little newborn baby girl, Cayman. She is such a beautiful little baby and such a strong little girl. Her and her family could really use your prayers though!! They are such an awesome family and have been through so much!! And as for the rest of the evening we spent back at our old home and trying to work out some of the legal issues. That can be so discouraging. As for a good night's sleep, I am due! And think I am off to try and get a little more sleep. I have been up since 2am.

hospital visit

Sunday was a rough morning for me. Actually got up to head to church but began to crave chocolate chip cookies. On the way to the store to get some, I began vomitting again. Church was no longer an option so I went home and went back to bed. Woke up again vomiting, but refused to spend my entire day laying around. So I forced myself to get up and clean my house. I mopped my floors, did my dishes, and cleaned. But then got an urge to make a huge supper, so we invited my mother-in-law and sister in law over. Shortly after supper, Chelsea got the urge for Dairy queen and so her and Nick went to pick up ice cream for everyone, meanwhile Carla stays back and helps with dinner dishes and I find myself right back in the bathroom, but this time with severe cramping. Carla called Lindsey at the hospital to ask her about it and all the nurses said I needed to get into the hospital...so as soon as Nick got home we headed up there. We arrived in the ER at 9 and by the time they figured I needed to be omitted for the night it was 2am. I once again was dehydrated from all the vomiting and my white blood count was very elevated; which means my body was fighting off some sort of infection. The ER doctor came in saying, I have some good and bad news....good news, we are gonna take u upstairs so u can be monitored, bad news....we think your appendix is about to go. But being pregnant they were unable to do a catscan so they just watched me. Now, this explains all the sickness. Over the night and thanks to the iv bags, my count began to drop again. Which began to rule out appendix. Come to find out there my cervex is inflammed from the pregnancy which is why I have been so sick and will continue to have discomfort throughtout. I have an appointment this friday to discuss further options.