Wednesday, July 28, 2010

"....that would be a good family"

A news interviewer asks this child in particular what he is looking for in a family. And his response was, "um, I want someone that loves me and doesnt abuse me...that would be a good family."

Instant tears on my end. And Nicholas became angry and saddened. That's when we knew that where we are headed in life right now is EXACTLY where God wants us to be. In a way I feel too "young" for this or not experience enough, so over and over I've been praying "God, are you sure?" I've questioned our path a few times, but each time I do a verse, an email, a message, something is thrown at me reminding me daily that Nicholas and I were brought together to parent not only our own biological children but the orphaned, the neglected and the abused.

We have been searching hours upon hours the adopt U.S website of waiting children to find families. And it saddens me to see the children's pictures with a number next to it and some of their info next to it. After hours of searching one night a new case appeared.....and instantly Nicholas and I fell in love. These two children had smiles of gold. Hugging each other, this brother and sister group, melted our heart. We prayed and prayed for these children. And then we contacted our caseworker about them. We couldnt get our paperwork done fast enough...but then we got some bad news. Well, not bad...just not what we were hoping for. These children's team meeting (where a family is picked) is September 3rd. And our lincense process will not be over until end of October. So we just missed them.

Instantly our hearts sank. And we experienced our first broken heart in the adoption process. So I asked God, "what is it that you want from us. Here we are following your calling for us, we found the children that we seemed to instantly connect too..and now they aren't available." And that's when I heard Him. "Valerie, those children gave you a smile TODAY! Take that as today's opportunity to love them and pray for them!"

So with lots of prayer for these children I am able to say, we may not be that family for them, but as long as they find one that fits them and that can love them and that they can bring the happiness they broguht to me in the past weeks then I can let them go. However, I have NOT stopped praying that if they are the children for us that something miraclous happens. (which it still could. If a family is not found the case stays open longer and then we can submit our homestudy and life book!) But those two children brought so much to me on that particular day and the days leading up to now. They gave me a hope in our future as a family and reminded me to pray, not only for the children we will eventually bring into our family, but all the children out there waiting for homes.

It's been a while, as I said I would blog the process, but believe me when I say this.....right now, it's nothing interesting....but paperwork, paperwork, and more paperwork...oh and our fire inspection today...but with that....MORE PAPERWORK!!! I promise to keep blogging, but just bare with me through this beginning phase got it....PAPERWORK!!!

*our preperation for our safety audit
*for our patience as we begin this long drawn out process of WAITING
*for the protection of our children, whereever they are
*that the financial aspect of it continues to come in
*(not adoption related) the accident settlement...we are getting close to a year and we are praying we are getting near to closing the insurance part of that!
*and for every child that deserves a family and that are just out there waiting!!


Kathy said...

Thank you for sharing different ways that you and Nicholas want us to be praying. You know I will be in constant prayer for your family and for your future children. God loves you and will take care of you. Love You all. Give Ashalyn a hug and kiss for me.

Kathy said...

Christ taught us that knowing God's will & living in obediance to that will is the key to it all! God is the potter; we are the clay. God keeps us spinning on His potter's wheel, shaping & reshaping us as he bathes ou...r lives in tears to make us more Christ-like so He can use us for His will. Surrender daily. Keep your clay moist through daily prayer that's in accordance to His will.

Gretchen said...

I've been reading your blog for a while, I think you all are great and I don't think you are too young! I love how you imitate God...instead of praying for things that you yourself will not be involved in, you take action! We have a little in common in that I could not know about orphaned children and not do something...

The waiting is excruciating. Something that helps me - I have started writing letters to my child to be and collecting small things for him to keep in his forever family chest so that when he does finally come home to us, he will have mementos just like my birth child. It's fun really, and exchanges some of the sting of waiting for creative ways to include him before he's even here. Letters from me and his new grandparents, pictures, special books, something I had when I was a child, drawings from my son to his new brother, etc...

Just an idea. Take care!

Our sweet Miranda

Our sweet Miranda


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